Scribbles of Young Ladies and Gentlemen: The Young Gentleman with the Hair

The Young Gentleman with the Hair

As the name might suggest, you can identify the Young Gentleman with the Hair by looking at his head. Because, in contrast to the somewhat subdued follicles possessed by most young gentleman, the Young Gentleman with the Hair’s hair doesn’t just sit passively on his scalp, it does something. This sense of hair-in-action is what singles out at Young Gentleman with the Hair from his peers.

Perhaps his hair stands to attention like a London Guard, or perhaps it is poised like the crest of a wave over his forehead. It might wiggle and dance in chaotic curls, or it might be a Justin Beiber curtain that is drawn back and forth as he moves, opening and closing the Young Gentleman’s face.

Whatever style of coiffeur he favours, it is certain that his hair is the Young Gentleman with the Hair’s pride and joy. He nurtures it like a new relationship, and parades it as proudly as a lover. Whenever he is confronted with a metallic or reflective surface (a shop window or the back of a spoon in a restaurant, say) this young gentleman is utterly compelled to examine his hair and will probably run his hand through it like a comb.

It has been said that the length and shape of a Young Gentleman with the Hair’s hair is a compensation for something, although what is meant by this I would be quite unprepared to speculate. It is worth mentioning, however, that a Young Gentleman with the Hair can often have something of an attitude problem. His vanity is something of legend and he has, in the past, been referred to as obnoxious.

The most tragic thing to see is the Older Gentleman with no Hair, a former Young Gentleman with the Hair who has grown up and been dealt a cruel blow by genetics. This older man will most certainly be in possession of a motorbike, and possibly wears leather trousers as a fashion statement. Perhaps he is trying to re-connect with his youth, and by proxy, his lustrous locks.

By contrast, the happiest of Young Gentlemen with the Hair is the young gentleman who has found his soulmate in the Young Lady with the Hair. What a happy pair these two make! They share hair straighteners and pocket mirrors and a content existence spent admiring themselves, and each other. When the time comes to procreate the Young Lady with the Hair gives birth to a cherub of a child. Perhaps the child may not speak until he is two and a half, but no matter because look: what a cloud of angelic curls sits on his pretty head! And so is born the Very Young Gentleman with the Hair. 

Libby

Scribbles of Young Ladies and Gentlemen

Sketches of Young Gentlemen and Couples (With Sketches of Young Ladies), by Charles Dickens, Illustrated by Phiz

This was one of my purchases on Sunday, and the first that I started to read. 

It is wonderful. One of Charles Dicken's less famous works, it is a compilation of short and witty sketches of young characters, written like a zoological report. 

Among them are The Mysterious Young Lady, The Very Friendly Young Gentleman, The Nice Little Couple and The The Romantic Young Lady...

"Her pity knows know bounds. She pities the "the poor flowers in winter". She pities her friend's shawl if it gets wet. She pities poor Mr. Brown, "he has such a taste; nothing but cabbages and potatoes in his garden." 'Tis singular that, with all this fund of compassion, she was never known to pity a deserving object. That would be too much matter of fact."

I am engrossed. Much to the amusement of my family as the occasional laugh splutters over the top of the book that I have my nose buried in.

Despite being written so many years ago, the characters are people you could bump into in the street today. Just take them away from the balls and the villages and give them iphones and Starbuck's...

Which gave me an idea to recreate these sketches for the modern day. So every now and then on this blog I shall be sharing with you my own 21st Century sketches: 'Scribbles of Young Ladies and Gentlemen'.

I can't write like Dickens or draw like Phiz. But I can write like me and draw stick people.

Hope you enjoy... 

Scribbles of Young Ladies and Gentlemen 
(Including stick drawings by me)

The Young Lady with the Loud Laugh

You may not have seen the young lady with the loud laugh, but you will most certainly have heard her.

The laughter of young ladies falls, for the most part, into a handful of categories. There is the pitying laugh, offered to young gentleman with bad hair whose jokes are pulled from Christmas crackers. The dainty laugh has the sound of a teaspoon against a teacup but is often produced by the least dainty of young ladies. Perhaps the loveliest of laughs is the steak-and-kidney-pie-laugh, so named for its warmth and heartiness and because it is a regular in jolly public houses.

The steak-and-kidney-pie laugh is loud, but nothing compared to the sound produced by the young lady with the loud laugh.

The young lady with the loud laugh’s laugh is not just loud. It is extraordinarily loud.

It is also quite unique in tone and resonance. An expert in such matters of classification might liken the sound to that of a rather agitated kookaburra or an elephant playing a trumpet.

If you are short of hearing and seek visual confirmation that you have encountered a young lady with a loud laugh, here follow a few distinguishing features. The young lady with the loud laugh can most frequently be found riding on public transport, and is most likely to have her head thrown back as if her chin is involved in a longstanding argument with the rest of her body. You would be forgiven for mistaking her as a sufferer of indigestion: she will likely be clutching her stomach as though tormented by an inner agony. Other notable characteristics include the clapping of hands or mirthful banging of fists on nearby surfaces.

The young lady with the loud laugh is also not unknown to make appearances in libraries.  

If you find yourself in the company of a young lady with a loud laugh, it is worth looking out for certain unusual traits. She has, for example, been known to accidentally project a little more than laughter onto her neighbours. It is worth observing the young gentleman sat opposite her as he blinks back a teardrop of her saliva and wonders as to the socially acceptable thing to do next.

Occasionally the young lady with the loud laugh will surprise even herself with the volume of her laughter. A somewhat bashful look will flutter across her face as she acknowledges the weary faces of her fellow young ladies and gentlemen.

But it will not be long until she is brushing her knees and back on the hee-haw in the playground of her life.

N.B It is highly advised never to enter into a serious argument with the young lady with the loud laugh. It is universally accepted that you will never have the last laugh. 

 

Libby