Wednesday, 29 August 2012
We started seeing each other back in April. From the beginning all the signs of new love were there: sweating palms, loss of appetite and an inability to think about anything (or anyone) else.
As time passed, things only got worse.
I have never met anyone quite so jealous. I go out with my friends but all he wants is to get me home to bed. I work hard but all he wants to do is get in the way of my plans. In fact he hates that I make plans at all - if he had his way he would be the one and only thing in my life. We would spend all day and night together in our pyjamas watching trashy television and working our way through entire boxes of biscuits. We would sleep in each other's arms for a hundred years and never once leave the house.
My friends have told me that he has changed me. Our volatile relationship makes my mood jump up and down like a yo-yo. He is utterly and completely wrong for me.
His name is Glandular Fever.
Mr Glandular Fever, you are officially dumped.
Now please go find someone else to hang around with.