The Young
Gentleman with the Hair
As the name might suggest, you can identify the Young
Gentleman with the Hair by looking at his head. Because, in contrast to the
somewhat subdued follicles possessed by most young gentleman, the Young
Gentleman with the Hair’s hair doesn’t just sit passively on his scalp, it does something. This sense of
hair-in-action is what singles out at Young Gentleman with the Hair from his
peers.
Perhaps his hair stands to attention like a London Guard, or
perhaps it is poised like the crest of a wave over his forehead. It might
wiggle and dance in chaotic curls, or it might be a Justin Beiber curtain that
is drawn back and forth as he moves, opening and closing the Young Gentleman’s
face.
Whatever style of coiffeur he favours, it is certain that
his hair is the Young Gentleman with the Hair’s pride and joy. He nurtures it
like a new relationship, and parades it as proudly as a lover. Whenever he is
confronted with a metallic or reflective surface (a shop window or the back of
a spoon in a restaurant, say) this young gentleman is utterly compelled to
examine his hair and will probably run his hand through it like a comb.
It has been said that the length and shape of a Young
Gentleman with the Hair’s hair is a compensation for something, although what
is meant by this I would be quite unprepared to speculate. It is worth
mentioning, however, that a Young Gentleman with the Hair can often have
something of an attitude problem. His vanity is something of legend and he has,
in the past, been referred to as obnoxious.
The most tragic thing to see is the Older Gentleman with no
Hair, a former Young Gentleman with the Hair who has grown up and been dealt a
cruel blow by genetics. This older man will most certainly be in possession of
a motorbike, and possibly wears leather trousers as a fashion statement.
Perhaps he is trying to re-connect with his youth, and by proxy, his lustrous
locks.
By contrast, the happiest of Young Gentlemen with the Hair
is the young gentleman who has found his soulmate in the Young Lady with the
Hair. What a happy pair these two make! They share hair straighteners and
pocket mirrors and a content existence spent admiring themselves, and each
other. When the time comes to procreate the Young Lady with the Hair gives
birth to a cherub of a child. Perhaps the child may not speak until he is two
and a half, but no matter because look: what a cloud of angelic curls sits on
his pretty head! And so is born the Very Young Gentleman with the Hair.
Libby
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