The Young Gentleman with the Hair
As the name might suggest, you can identify the Young Gentleman with the Hair by looking at his head. Because, in contrast to the somewhat subdued follicles possessed by most young gentleman, the Young Gentleman with the Hair’s hair doesn’t just sit passively on his scalp, it does something. This sense of hair-in-action is what singles out at Young Gentleman with the Hair from his peers.
Perhaps his hair stands to attention like a London Guard, or perhaps it is poised like the crest of a wave over his forehead. It might wiggle and dance in chaotic curls, or it might be a Justin Beiber curtain that is drawn back and forth as he moves, opening and closing the Young Gentleman’s face.
Whatever style of coiffeur he favours, it is certain that his hair is the Young Gentleman with the Hair’s pride and joy. He nurtures it like a new relationship, and parades it as proudly as a lover. Whenever he is confronted with a metallic or reflective surface (a shop window or the back of a spoon in a restaurant, say) this young gentleman is utterly compelled to examine his hair and will probably run his hand through it like a comb.
It has been said that the length and shape of a Young Gentleman with the Hair’s hair is a compensation for something, although what is meant by this I would be quite unprepared to speculate. It is worth mentioning, however, that a Young Gentleman with the Hair can often have something of an attitude problem. His vanity is something of legend and he has, in the past, been referred to as obnoxious.
The most tragic thing to see is the Older Gentleman with no Hair, a former Young Gentleman with the Hair who has grown up and been dealt a cruel blow by genetics. This older man will most certainly be in possession of a motorbike, and possibly wears leather trousers as a fashion statement. Perhaps he is trying to re-connect with his youth, and by proxy, his lustrous locks.
By contrast, the happiest of Young Gentlemen with the Hair is the young gentleman who has found his soulmate in the Young Lady with the Hair. What a happy pair these two make! They share hair straighteners and pocket mirrors and a content existence spent admiring themselves, and each other. When the time comes to procreate the Young Lady with the Hair gives birth to a cherub of a child. Perhaps the child may not speak until he is two and a half, but no matter because look: what a cloud of angelic curls sits on his pretty head! And so is born the Very Young Gentleman with the Hair.